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I got run over by a minivan Wednesday night

December 16, 2011

MERRY CHRISTMAS FROM THE ADAMS FAMILY — Outdoor Columnist Jody Ray Adams, right, and his family, daughter, Joni Kay, wife, Jenny, and son, Jacques, from left, wish you all Merry Christmas. Photo Submitted by Jody Adams

You've heard the famous Christmas song, “Grandma Got Run Over by Reindeer.” Well, I was singing a different version on Wednesday night — “I Got Run Over by a Minivan.”
I went to Walmart Wednesday night because my wife, Jenny — a.k.a., “Princess” — needed a few things.
We pulled up into the parking lot. It just started to rain. I was in Walmart for about an hour shopping and visiting with an ol' friends Bobby Heavener, Roger Mattox and Kathy Dalton.
I was just having a good time until I checked out and walked outside. Friends, it was raining cats and monkeys — forget the dogs. Everything was flooded!
I proceed to go back inside and wait a few minutes because I left my umbrella in my truck, and I didn't want to get my hair wet — I had just washed it!
Anyway, I was at The Community State Bank inside Walmart visiting Randy, Audrey and Britney when everything went dark!
A few seconds later, the lights came back on, and I decided to “man up” and run to my truck. By now, it's raining so hard you can't see Burger King.
I get a firm grip on the handle of my shopping cart, and take off running. I got it in high gear, just like in “The Dukes of Hazzard,” when all of the sudden, a minivan drives through the handicap zone from the opposite way. I thought I was in “The Safety Zone,” in between the car lanes.
Before I could do anything, the minivan hits my shopping cart. My legs slid under the shopping cart, and it felt like I had cheese graders raked over my shins.
Luckily, my hand landed on the ground behind me — so, I didn't fall flat on my back.
The minivan's headlights are shining right in my eyes. I'm blind, soaking wet and my shins are on fire! I was so embarrassed.
I jump up, and take off pushing my shopping cart just as fast as I can. The minivan speeds off lilke in “Smokey and the Bandit.” I'm sure the driver was in shock, too.
I get home, and all the electricity is out in my neighborhood. I thought to myself what else could happen to me on this night.
I pull my pants off, and my shins are bleeding down my socks! I was so glad to be alive! If I had only brought my umbrella with me, I'd have been walking instead of running. I always have to learn the hard way — but when you learn the hard way, you'll never forget!
Here's my version of “my song”:
“Jody Ray got run over by a minivan, coming out of Walmart one rainy eve. Some people say he looks all wet, man — ’cause he was mowed over at Walmart by a minivan! And, now we all believe.”
Things like this only happens in Poteau. That's why I love living here — it's the best!
Last Cast
Mike and Ed Sockey went on a trip to Louisiana (my homeland) to get some seefood, and got to meet my “Uncle Troy” from “Swamp People.” He gave them some alligator tail meet for a Cajun Christmas present.
I think I started working the door at Tote-A-Poke as its new “door greeter.” Every time I step in there, I'm there for at least an hour just talking to everybody that comes through that door. Put me on the payroll, Mick Lafevers.
Save the world — recycle.
God bless our troops and our veterans.
Have a great weekend — and good luck Christmas shopping.
Merry Christmas from my family to yours.
— — —
Any questions or pictures, make contact with Jody Ray Adams on Facebook, on the “Jody Ray Fishing Hotline” at (918) 649-7387 or email to jodyray@classicnet.net.

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