You've heard the famous Christmas song, “Grandma Got Run Over by Reindeer.” Well, I was singing a different version on Wednesday night — “I Got Run Over by a Minivan.”
I went to Walmart Wednesday night because my wife, Jenny — a.k.a., “Princess” — needed a few things.
We pulled up into the parking lot. It just started to rain. I was in Walmart for about an hour shopping and visiting with an ol' friends Bobby Heavener, Roger Mattox and Kathy Dalton.
I was just having a good time until I checked out and walked outside. Friends, it was raining cats and monkeys — forget the dogs. Everything was flooded!
I proceed to go back inside and wait a few minutes because I left my umbrella in my truck, and I didn't want to get my hair wet — I had just washed it!
Anyway, I was at The Community State Bank inside Walmart visiting Randy, Audrey and Britney when everything went dark!
A few seconds later, the lights came back on, and I decided to “man up” and run to my truck. By now, it's raining so hard you can't see Burger King.
I get a firm grip on the handle of my shopping cart, and take off running. I got it in high gear, just like in “The Dukes of Hazzard,” when all of the sudden, a minivan drives through the handicap zone from the opposite way. I thought I was in “The Safety Zone,” in between the car lanes.
Before I could do anything, the minivan hits my shopping cart. My legs slid under the shopping cart, and it felt like I had cheese graders raked over my shins.
Luckily, my hand landed on the ground behind me — so, I didn't fall flat on my back.
The minivan's headlights are shining right in my eyes. I'm blind, soaking wet and my shins are on fire! I was so embarrassed.
I jump up, and take off pushing my shopping cart just as fast as I can. The minivan speeds off lilke in “Smokey and the Bandit.” I'm sure the driver was in shock, too.
I get home, and all the electricity is out in my neighborhood. I thought to myself what else could happen to me on this night.
I pull my pants off, and my shins are bleeding down my socks! I was so glad to be alive! If I had only brought my umbrella with me, I'd have been walking instead of running. I always have to learn the hard way — but when you learn the hard way, you'll never forget!
Here's my version of “my song”:
“Jody Ray got run over by a minivan, coming out of Walmart one rainy eve. Some people say he looks all wet, man — ’cause he was mowed over at Walmart by a minivan! And, now we all believe.”
Things like this only happens in Poteau. That's why I love living here — it's the best!
Mike and Ed Sockey went on a trip to Louisiana (my homeland) to get some seefood, and got to meet my “Uncle Troy” from “Swamp People.” He gave them some alligator tail meet for a Cajun Christmas present.
I think I started working the door at Tote-A-Poke as its new “door greeter.” Every time I step in there, I'm there for at least an hour just talking to everybody that comes through that door. Put me on the payroll, Mick Lafevers.
Save the world — recycle.
God bless our troops and our veterans.
Have a great weekend — and good luck Christmas shopping.
Merry Christmas from my family to yours.
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Any questions or pictures, make contact with Jody Ray Adams on Facebook, on the “Jody Ray Fishing Hotline” at (918) 649-7387 or email to firstname.lastname@example.org .